There’s always been a military fetish, in every culture since the beginning of time. The kink of cocking huge, powerful guns and diving into fox(fuck) holes.

I’m willing to bet I’m not the only chica who has the wet-hots for rebel leaders, especially those who are on the “bad” side of big bad ‘Mer’ca.

There’s just something beyond sexy about rebels, and I’ve always had a (not so) secret crush on Che Guevara. Fucking sexy. It’s his nose that gets me hot. Those curvy nostrils beg to be licked!

What better way to tell him that I would absolutely be his guerilla sex slave than to write him a dirty letter! I do believe he has internet access on the other side. Fidel told me so.

I’m gonna keep these thoughts short and delicious…

Dear Che,

If I could go back in time, I would bring my gang of rebel-fems and infiltrate your hideout just so we could take turns sucking your forbidden balls. Then, when you least expect it, my rebel-fems would surround you, pin you down with the strength of their muscular booty cheeks, and I would ram the barrel of my machine gun up your asshole. Kneeling between your revolutionary thighs, I would swallow your fat cigar til you feel the base of my vocal chords stopping your head and hum the Mexican national anthem, then the Cuban national anthem, back to back. Just for you, Che, I would make sure my gun-dildo is unloaded, stare into your eyes while I suck on your head like a Cohiba until my senses detect a moment of fear when you hear the safety switch click to OFF. Then, just when you think it can’t get any sexier, I would pull the trigger, over and over and over, sending shockwaves of dangerous delight from your base to your crown, as you splash cum like jungle sweat onto my tongue. For you, I would gargle that salty shot before letting it slide down into my belly like good nourishment after a lengthy covert operation.

Please wear your Che-beret and be naked when you hear my time machine arrive.


Bella Shadows
Smutpunk Revolutionary


Tell me, who’s your secret rebel crush?