Patty Cakes

A Smutpunk Series


Patty – Afropunk baker with a fat-booty
The Baker’s Man – Ancient African deity with a hard stick of butter


Part 1 – The Baker’s Man Comes
Now Available Where Fine Smut is Sold!

This Grand Opening of the Patty Cakes smutpunk series introduces Patty, the tattoo-covered, Afropunk, rebel baker who hosts slam poetry, local MCs, and misfit rage bands every Wednesday night. Patty is warming up her bakery for a long night of prepping before her weekly Hump Day event. Without knowing she’s being watched, her fingers grease up her cake pan to get her in the baking mood. The Baker’s Man comes and gives her his magical seed, and the suck and fuck fest that ensues is nothing short of delicious bliss. Her cake gets baked to perfection and he gets off with a new baker to add to his collection. Patty finds out just how good her cakes taste.


Part 2 – Thank You, Come Again! (aka Massive Hump Day Orgy Fuckfest)

Hump Day comes and draws a huge crowd. Patty’s muffins make the patrons go insane with sexual energy. She baked some sort of delicious sex potion into them without even realizing it! Open mic is packed, and everyone is acting like they dropped X. They turn into something like sex-zombies – kissing, sucking, and fucking in a mass-orgy with Patty at the center of it all. Slam poets spittin’ out the sex scene like narrated pornography. Painters sticking their brushes into buckets they’ve never been in before. Vocalists harmonize their groans and moans like a horny chorus. Hell, even the guitars are getting’ jumped on! Patty Cakes Baked Goods turns into one big performance-art fuck scene. The Baker’s Man is watching it all through the mirror, observing the out-of-control frenzy, taking notes as to how her secret recipe will be adjusted next week.


Part 3: Curdled Curlies – Patty Stuffs Miss Muffet’s Spidery Hole

The following Hump Day eve comes, and Patty warms herself up even quicker, knowing it’s her way to conjure the Baker’s Man. She’s tasted his power, felt the results her sexy cakes had on the public, and she’s anxious to get her next baking lesson. He comes through the mirror with Miss Muffet, a pale vixen with fire-red hair and a crotch to match who’s covered in spider web tattoos and suspension piercings. Patty buries her mug in Miss Muffet’s red tuft, and powers her tongue into “The Muff’s” spider-webbed asshole. Patty pulls out pearls of custard-wisdom, revealing her secret recipe. The Baker’s Man watches them teach and learn, but not for long. He pushes into Patty’s asshole with his buttery rolling pin while “The Muff” wraps her up in a web of spider legs, tribbin’ on her clit like it’s her prey… and much, much more.